Monday, August 29. 2005
Impeccable Communication (Part Two)
Show up and be present is the first step in impeccable communication with others. Staying current and checking motivation are foundations for the next piece – where we put our attention.
With our critical minds, it’s so easy to see the glass as half full, project negativity into everything, look only for what’s wrong. If we believe in a world of hurt, that is where our attention and our reality will stay. We always have the choice to hear and see things differently.
Pay Attention to What Has Heart and Meaning
Pick through words and non-verbal cues to find the gift in every conversation. Some fact revealed about the other person or yourself will give you greater understanding. Or, with just hearing and being heard, something in you may be healed. Getting the gift may require humbling yourself, stepping out of your “position” to hear things from another perspective.
- Listen
Listen and keep listening with the depth that you wish for when you’re speaking. Listen for the impact of your words. Pause often to allow for a response rather than holding forth. If you apply this to coaching, you’ve achieved some mastery. Now apply it to every conversation.
- Stay with it
Even if the words seem harsh, keep your focus on honoring and respecting both yourself and the person you’re talking with. Stay in dialogue until both of you are finished.
- Let go of interpretations
Let words wash over and past you knowing they will only hurt if you hold onto your interpretations. Check out your assumptions with the other person.
Truth lives in our hearts. When we receive what has meaning into our hearts and convey what has meaning from there, we can tell the truth and also honor the other.
Copyright © Bubbling Well – Rhonda Hess
All rights in all media reserved.
With our critical minds, it’s so easy to see the glass as half full, project negativity into everything, look only for what’s wrong. If we believe in a world of hurt, that is where our attention and our reality will stay. We always have the choice to hear and see things differently.
Pay Attention to What Has Heart and Meaning
Pick through words and non-verbal cues to find the gift in every conversation. Some fact revealed about the other person or yourself will give you greater understanding. Or, with just hearing and being heard, something in you may be healed. Getting the gift may require humbling yourself, stepping out of your “position” to hear things from another perspective.
- Listen
Listen and keep listening with the depth that you wish for when you’re speaking. Listen for the impact of your words. Pause often to allow for a response rather than holding forth. If you apply this to coaching, you’ve achieved some mastery. Now apply it to every conversation.
- Stay with it
Even if the words seem harsh, keep your focus on honoring and respecting both yourself and the person you’re talking with. Stay in dialogue until both of you are finished.
- Let go of interpretations
Let words wash over and past you knowing they will only hurt if you hold onto your interpretations. Check out your assumptions with the other person.
Truth lives in our hearts. When we receive what has meaning into our hearts and convey what has meaning from there, we can tell the truth and also honor the other.
Copyright © Bubbling Well – Rhonda Hess
All rights in all media reserved.
Thursday, August 25. 2005
Impeccable Communication (Part One)
One of my favorite authors, Angeles Arrien, wrote in The Four Fold Way about a shamanic approach to consciousness designed to create harmony and balance. For me, this simple approach to life is the framework for impeccable communication in relationships:
1. Show up and Choose to Be Present
2. Pay Attention to What Has Heart and Meaning
3. Tell the Truth Without Blame or Judgment
4. Be Open to Outcome, Not Attached to Outcome
This article and the next three will take these guidelines one at a time.
Show Up and Choose to Be Present
Even if the content feels edgy, be fully present for the entire conversation. Any shutting down narrows the channels of communication. Stay open, flexible, and ready to receive new understanding.
- Check your motivation
Manipulative motivations (the need to get something, fix, save or influence someone) may contaminate communication, by adding an energetic signature that speaks louder than the words and sends mixed messages. Motivated by honor and respect for yourself and others, words have a healthy ground to flourish.
- Stay current
Allowed to fester, emotions turn to toxic states such as resentment. Pain comes from withholding information and feelings in relationship. When finally expressed, the impact of old information and emotions may be devastating, not only to you, but also to others. For more harmony and less pain in relationships, stay current in your communication. This means facing up to conversations that may be difficult sooner rather than later. Keeping your focus on what has heart for you in the conversation can help.
1. Show up and Choose to Be Present
2. Pay Attention to What Has Heart and Meaning
3. Tell the Truth Without Blame or Judgment
4. Be Open to Outcome, Not Attached to Outcome
This article and the next three will take these guidelines one at a time.
Show Up and Choose to Be Present
Even if the content feels edgy, be fully present for the entire conversation. Any shutting down narrows the channels of communication. Stay open, flexible, and ready to receive new understanding.
- Check your motivation
Manipulative motivations (the need to get something, fix, save or influence someone) may contaminate communication, by adding an energetic signature that speaks louder than the words and sends mixed messages. Motivated by honor and respect for yourself and others, words have a healthy ground to flourish.
- Stay current
Allowed to fester, emotions turn to toxic states such as resentment. Pain comes from withholding information and feelings in relationship. When finally expressed, the impact of old information and emotions may be devastating, not only to you, but also to others. For more harmony and less pain in relationships, stay current in your communication. This means facing up to conversations that may be difficult sooner rather than later. Keeping your focus on what has heart for you in the conversation can help.
Copyright © Bubbling Well – Rhonda Hess
All rights in all media reserved.
(Page 1 of 1, totaling 2 entries)
Comments
Sun, 01.04.2009 09:44
I am actually having an "aha!" moment right now, by finding this site. I have been trying to find my "calling" for [...]Comments ()
Tue, 12.16.2008 13:25
A favorite quote to inspire le aders: "They won't care how m uch you know until they know h ow much you care"Comments ()
Thu, 12.04.2008 07:54
Mark 9:23 (King James Version) Jesus said unto him, If th ou canst believe, all things a re possible to him that [...]Comments ()
Mon, 12.01.2008 17:11
Great Post - We really sometim es need a reminder of our Clie nt comes first after getting s o overwhelmed in our wor [...]Comments ()
Wed, 11.12.2008 19:20
Interesting Post. Thank you, I really enoyed reading this ar ticle.Comments ()