Friday, January 27. 2006
Making Conscious and Successful Choices
Several years ago, two anthropologists with remarkable similarities of personality, philosophy, and education were chosen to enter separate, essentially identical ape colonies to live and observe for a year. When they emerged to compare notes, they expected significant similarities, but instead found remarkable discrepancies. One anthropologist, after an initial period of transition, was accepted by the apes, integrated into the colony, and achieved a unity and comfort with the apes. The other anthropologist never got beyond the social periphery of his colony, remained careful and vigilant, always seemed right on the cusp of a conflict, and never reached a harmony.
The anthropologists could not understand the discrepant results, nor find any reasons. They puzzled for months, until they finally found a difference in approaches. The anthropologist who was never more than a vigilant outsider carried a gun. His gun never showed; he never used it; the apes never knew he had it. But he knew he had it; he knew that if things got tough, he had an “out.” The anthropologist who had no gun had a commitment: he knew from the beginning that he would either make it or not make it on his own. In retrospect and reconstruction, each of their assumptions created the reality that they experienced.
To make informed, successful choices in a life or business story, we must learn to recognize hidden themes. We must decode the elusive language of mind and emotion that may “ghostwrite” that story.
Such influential beliefs, when brought into clear focus, become conscious choices. When cease stop telling yourself all the things you should say, and cease listening for what you want to hear, you can more fully assess the storylines. Then, you can revise the ones that don’t work and create new ones for personal and career growth.
For example, the most common reason people don’t earn more money and accumulate wealth is that they don’t see themselves capable of it. Once people genuinely see themselves as capable, all sorts of thing begin to happen. You code your radar for possibility. Coauthored assumptions, such as women commanding a lower salary than men, snap into focus.
Invisible storylines and emotional agendas about money can make people act goofy at times. Intelligent people spend money they don’t have. Sophisticated people get scammed, sometimes repeatedly. Rational people trade in leisure time for money, to buy back some of what they forfeited. Gifted people can’t convert their talent into sufficient income. Otherwise balanced individuals spend extravagantly or hoard compulsively. Dependable people ignore financial matters until they snowball. Highly principled individuals step over boundaries and write their own rules about money.
Why can’t someone just simply break a poverty cycle and make a better life? A simple, if not simplistic and myopic, question. But not a simple answer, as it is not a matter of intellect, willpower, or just moving into a better zip code. The question assumes that there is an intact alternative waiting to be chosen, that there is a substitute story other than poverty, and another frame of mind than the one that has so permeated every cell of brain and mind, family and culture. It would be like saying, “I know this better galaxy system to which we should go, just trust me and go along with me to get there.” No one would or could do that. That assumes that a new story awaits discovery and claim. Of course, this is not the case, as a new story is gradually and sometimes painfully constructed by a person who must, in the process, give up what is known, secure, and predictable. And like wing-walking on an airplane, you can’t let go until you have something else to hold.
Continue reading "Making Conscious and ... »
Tuesday, January 24. 2006
Coaching the "Opportunity Addict"
by Melanie Benson Strick
The Entrepreneur's Success Coach
The Entrepreneur's Success Coach
Have you ever had a client who had a new idea every time you talked? Or perhaps you notice a pattern of not following through because they get distracted with some amazing new opportunity? This is often the sign of an "opportunity addict."
Entrepreneur's often become addicted to the idea of opportunities and lose sight of their desired outcome – making money, accomplishing results, and enjoying time off.
How do you know if your client is an opportunity addict? Here are some of the common signs:
- They say YES without thinking through how it will affect their other obligations and priorities.
- They have over 15 projects going on simultaneously (and this seems normal.)
- When they are approached by someone to collaborate or joint venture with, they are so excited by "the prospect of cash in the bank" that they just jump in full-force.
- They say YES because they are afraid of what they might lose if they say NO.
- They get frustrated when their projects and goals are falling behind schedule, but can’t figure out "“where things went wrong."
So you have an opportunity addict on your hands. Now what?
First, get the client to acknowledge that this is a pattern of sabotage. Acknowledging the problem is the first step to solving it.
Second, realign the client’s vision so that they are crystal clear about their goals and ideal lifestyle. They need to have a process in place to filter out the “fun ideas” from the profitable ventures. Otherwise they will just get sidetracked from success.
Third, encourage them to take a bird's eye view of their business. Just because something looks good today doesn’t mean it is a good investment of time, energy and hard-earned cash. Help them be able to see the short AND long-term payoff.
And remember that everything the client says yes to means they are saying no to something else.
Melanie Benson Strick is "The Entrepreneur's Success Coach ' and co-creator of The Unstoppable Goals Method. Enroll in Melanie's upcoming teleclass to learn more about The Art & Science of Coaching Entrepreneurs
Comments
Sat, 11.08.2008 14:46
My favorite quote is... "If your sea chart doesn't match reality, go with reality." Old Mariner saying. :)Comments ()
Sun, 10.26.2008 12:43
Great Insight! I really found the tools and techniques Helpf ul - Thank You!Comments ()
Fri, 07.18.2008 14:22
Overwhelm-induced intertia! I 've never heard it put quite l ike that - but you can bet I'v e experienced it! Every [...]Comments ()
Sat, 06.21.2008 21:33
Darlene, I couldn't agree w ith you more. It is so importa nt to help these kids realize that they can do anythin [...]Comments ()
Sun, 05.18.2008 17:40
I happened upon your blog by c hance, but can never pass up a n opportunity to talk about go als. I agree that resol [...]Comments ()