Life Coaching Blog

by David Krueger, MD

On a person's quest for success it can sometimes be difficult to deal with major victories and triumphs. While that may seem like an odd statement the fact is many people are not prepared for huge success, even if they see it coming all along.

Look at it this way, if a frog were placed in boiling hot water, it would immediately jump out and survive. If however, the frog were put in cold water and the temperature were to rise gradually one degree at a time over a long period of time, the frog would ultimately die because of not perceiving the water as hot. Gradual success can be just as sinister.

Too Much Too Fast

The pursuit of success can be just as dangerous and therefore can lead to "success intoxication". Simply put success intoxications is getting too much too fast.

Think about it like this: With the increasing stimulation of success, the demand on energy escalates; The amount of time at work increases; It's hard to relax because excess is invigorating; Self-esteem is inflated because of the constant affirmation.

Beyond that, the metrics of success exaggerate in terms of money, accolades, and accomplishments. After all, once you've achieved so much in such little time, wouldn't it be natural to want more the next time?

The inherent problem with quick success is the fact that each single increment is justifiable and blurs the big picture. In the case of the frog in water, every time the temperature increases by a degree, the frog probably won't even notice. When the heat finally does become apparent, it will be too late.

The pattern is so gradual that it isn't noticed until perhaps some profound event brings it into focus. A crisis may occur in your personal or professional life, such as a layoff, a business closure, a health emergency, or a life-changing event such as death or divorce.

Pivotal Questions

To prevent success intoxication, ask yourself these seven questions:

What is the finish line?
Do you have a set goal in mind, or are you just trying to see how far you can get before you collapse? As funny as that may sound, many people don't envision an end. While you don't ever need to stop entirely, it would be wise to set an objective for each task.

Who do you want to be when you cross it?
Following up to the last point, how will reaching this objective change you? Surely it will affect you in some way, be it financially, physically, emotionally, etc.

What is enough?
Will there come a time when you are happy with what you have? Again, you should never stop aspiring, but you should be content at some point.

How will you know when you have enough?
This is a very important question to answer for one simple reason: in the heat of moment, you won't be able to. Decide in advance what you want so that when you get there, you'll know when to relax.

What are your specific metrics for success?
There is no right or wrong, but there is such a thing as consistency. Set your own metrics for success and stick to them.

How much of your identity is determined by these external benchmarks of success?
This is a very telling question and one that you should put thought into. While success certainly raises your confidence and morale, does it truly define you as a person?

Your Mission

The intoxication of success makes it harder to regulate emotions and to stay grounded in values and identity. When someone has exceptional qualities, such as athletic ability, beauty, intellect, or wealth, these can become defining they can also eclipse other aspects. For example, a remarkable athlete or entrepreneur can get so enmeshed in a pursuit that he/she gets lost, the quest becomes an identity.

To combat this, I recommend creating a personal mission statement. Your mission statement summarizes your philosophy, goals, and strategies, basically what you are all about. As you create your personal mission statement, consider these 6 principles:

** Keep your values in focus so success doesn't compromise them
** Outline your basic needs so they aren't subjugated to the pursuit of success
** Understand that more is not a goal; if it is, get more specific
** Define what good enough is (the best is not an answer, get more specific)
** Design short-term, measurable goals to validate your progress
** Use, invest, and refurbish your energy based on your mission statement

Stay Sober

Success is something we are all looking for in one form or another. Chasing it can be exhilarating and fulfilling. Just make sure you can control yourself; intoxication is no fun when you have no way out.