Life Coaching Blog

In the last edition, The Roots of Prosperity, we looked at the messages we took from our parents about money, spending and prosperity. From these we discovered the current messages we put out to our self and others. Then, we decided which of these are messages we’d like to keep or change and wrote new messages for those. You finished this four-step exercise with something that looks like this:

Example:

Know what/how you spend, owe little, save some.

CHANGE TO: Manage money impeccably, owe only mortgage, save aggressively.

Pay experts for their services and spend that time on doing what you do best.

KEEP
Use money for caring well for yourself.

KEEP
Invest in yourself.

CHANGE TO: Invest in yourself and others in sustainable ways.

I can make good money if I follow my bliss.

CHANGE TO: I am prosperous when I follow my spiritual path.

Now it’s time to anchor these newly intentioned messages into reality.

Step Five – Making Change

To make a change we need to create a practice. Look at each of the messages you want to change and your newly formed language. What can you do now on a regular basis to effect that change?

Example:

Manage money impeccably, owe only mortgage, save aggressively.

To anchor this new message in reality, I intend to do the following:

1. Set aside a half hour each week on my calendar to look at inflows/outflows and budget for the future.
2. Double my monthly savings.
3. Put money from sales of my jewelry into a special savings account.
4. Ask myself this question for each purchase I make: Does this purchase bring me enough delight or return on the investment to merit the number of hours I’ll need to work to pay for it?


Step Six – Enrolling Support

Any change is easier with support. Share with at least two people your discoveries through this exercise. Specifically tell them of your newly changed messages and the ways you intend to anchor them in reality. Arrange with a good friend, your spouse or your coach to hold you accountable for taking these actions.

It is possible to re-program our habitual thoughts and responses so that we shift from living in scarcity to living with prosperity. It all comes down to the messages we put out. Blessings as you effect this change in your life!

Visit Rhondas website at http://www.bubblingwell.com

Over the past two editions, we’ve looked at setting fees from integrity – a prosperity based practice. During that discussion you might have noticed some discrepancies between your desires to make money and your willingness to value yourself. Or you might have caught yourself in other challenging beliefs about money. To take some of the mystery out of prosperity, let’s look at the roots of our beliefs around money.

This exercise starts by looking back to see what messages you took about money, prosperity and scarcity from your parents. You’ll also look at your current beliefs and habits to see how they are derived from those early messages. Lastly, you’ll decide how you want to change your beliefs, habits and the messages that you put out to the world.

Step One – Gathering the Snapshots
Remember the place where you spent the most years growing up. What did the neighborhood look like? Think about your room, where your family spent time together. If it helps to take you back, pull out some photos of that time. Or, sketch a quick floor plan of the place where you lived and label the rooms.

During the part your life when you lived with your parents or a primary guardian, what did you learn about money, wealth and prosperity? Consider things said or done regarding money. Write down everything you can remember. Include memories about all your primary guardians.

Example: Here are five of the many memories I have about my mother regarding money:

• My mother paid the bills, kept the house books, managed the money. She was thrifty, cut coupons and would drive extra miles to the stores that had the best deals.

• She made what she could — canning vegetables, sewing, cooking — and rarely spent money on conveniences.

• Healthcare was a priority and she’d find a way to pay for it even if it meant scrimping elsewhere for a while.

• She was generous with us kids if she felt the money spent would invest in our futures and our long-term happiness. Few things were purchased without considering the return on the investment.

• She encouraged us to find creative and meaningful ways to earn money.

Step Two – Naming the Messages
Read over the snapshots you wrote in Step One. For each, name the messages you took from the words and actions around money. List the messages even if you don’t agree with them now. Notice what you learned from whom.

Example: My mother’s ways with money gave me these messages:

1. Manage your money well and save money wherever you can.
2. Don’t spend money on what you can get for free or less expensively.
3. Above all else, use money to take care of your body.
4. Invest money wisely for your future and your happiness. Make your money work for you.
5. Moneymaking can be creative and meaningful.


Step Three – Taking Current Snapshots
Look at each of the messages you received from your parents or guardians above. As an adult, how have you adopted the same or a different message? Whether or not you agree with them, what are the current messages that you give yourself, your spouse, kids, co-workers or friends about money now?

Divide a piece of paper into two columns. On the left, list your current messages, as derived or changed from your parent’s messages.

As you do this, you might notice that some of your current messages are reactions against what your parents did or said. Or, they might be messages that you have carried forward out of loyalty to the individual who taught them to you, whether conscious or unconscious.

Example: Here are some of my current messages as derived from my mother’s messages:

- Know what and how you spend, owe little, save some.

- Pay experts for their services and spend that time on doing what you do best.

- Use money for caring well for yourself.

- Invest in yourself.

- I can make good money if I follow my bliss.



Step Four – Weeding Out the Current Messages
Now that you have a picture of how you’ve derived your beliefs and actions around money, prosperity and scarcity, which do you want to consciously keep or change?

In the right column, note whether you’d like to keep or change the current messages you put out to yourself and others about money. If you’d like to change a message, also write in that right column your newly formed and conscious message.

Example:

Know what/how you spend, owe little, save some.

CHANGE TO: Manage money impeccably, owe only mortgage, save aggressively.

Pay experts for their services and spend that time on doing what you do best.


KEEP
Use money for caring well for yourself.


KEEP
Invest in yourself.


CHANGE TO: Invest in yourself and others in sustainable ways.
I can make good money if I follow my bliss.

CHANGE TO: I am prosperous when I follow my spiritual path.

Take time over the next two weeks to harvest this learning thoroughly. In the next edition there will be two more steps to take.