Tuesday, September 22. 2009
3 Simple and Loving Behaviors
Honor and respect your partner's feelings as if they are your own!
Feelings
are the barometer of our outside existential lives. Feelings let us
know how things are going for us inside ourselves. They are not good or
bad; helpful or not helpful; constructive or not so constructive.
Feelings exist because they do, in and of themselves.
We cannot choose to change, modify, not feel, or otherwise positively or negatively impact or affect our feelings. The only choices we have are directly related to our behavior.
Feelings are as normal as hunger and fatigue. When we dismiss, diminish, ridicule, criticize, mock, belittle, disparage or demean anyone's feelings we are acting in the most disrespectful and unloving way.
When your Honey expresses a feeling, consider hearing the feeling as a sacred offering. Be curious and compassionate.
Remember: It is not your job to fix anything. She or he is not broken. Don't get distracted by the content of the event. It isn't necessary to offer insights, suggestions, give answers or otherwise provide brilliant advice or express profound guidance.
Here are 3 Simple and Loving Behaviors to remember and use:
-
Listen with your heart.
-
Tell your partner that he or she matters to you and that his or her feelings are important to you.
-
Ask if there is anything you can do or say right now that would be helpful.
Believe that your presence and your caring go a long way to soothe hurt and upset hearts.
Take a deep breath. Remind yourself to stay in the moment with the
feeling(s). Trust that the 3 Simple and Loving Behaviors are enough!
Try it and let me know how it goes! Remember, only YOU can make it happen!
Dr.
Jackie Black is a mentor coach and trainer for Coach Training
Alliance and author of the Sage and Scholar's Guide to Coaching Couples. See
below...
Are you ready to help people make sustainable changes in their most important and precious relationship? Dr. Jackie Black is the expert host
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Tuesday, August 25. 2009
The Myth of Exercise
by Jonny Bowden, PhD, CNS
One
of your coaching clients commits to losing weight once and for all. He
decides to start going to the gym. No problem there, right? On the
surface, it makes perfect sense. But what if I were to tell you that
exercise is fairly useless for weight loss?
Now
before you accuse me of heresy, let me explain. There's no doubt that
exercise is one of the best things in the world you can do for your
health. It improves mood--in some studies as well as
antidepressants--and it's great for your heart. Recent research shows
that it even helps you grow new brain cells. And people who exercise on
a regular basis have lower risk for cancer, diabetes and heart disease.
But
weight loss? Not so much. Does that seem contrary to everything you've
heard? Of course it does but don't shoot the messenger.
Here's the Truth
The exercise/ weight-loss equation is way more complicated than we've
been led to believe. Let's start with calories. Most people overestimate calories burned during exercise (by a long shot) just as they typically underestimate daily calorie consumption (ditto!) You can wipe that out with one medium meal at McDonalds--heck, you can wipe it out with a one big "low-fat" muffin from Starbucks!
Then
there's the appetite factor. Exercise makes people hungry and people
often compensate for exercise by eating more. I've seen people at the
gym scarf down "energy" drinks that contain the calorie equivalent of
two days worth of workouts.
Interestingly,
the research is very clear that it's next to impossible to keep weight
off unless you exercise regularly. But using exercise alone as a
weight-loss strategy is--forgive the bad pun--an exercise in futility.
Jonny Bowden is a nutrition specialist and expert on weight loss and fitness. He is a best selling author, including The Sage and Scholar's Guide to Coaching Weight Loss. On Sept 2nd, Dr. Bowden is training and licensing a limited number of qualified coaches in his Diet Boot Camp System™. See below...
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Comments
Thu, 11.19.2009 23:37
your'e right. I just served 9 years in prison from age 18 -2 7,at first I thought I wouldn' t make it out alive,but [...]Comments ()
Tue, 09.29.2009 06:05
"Madness is doing the same thi ng over and over again expecti ng a different result." I thin k this was Albert Einste [...]Comments ()
Mon, 05.25.2009 23:04
"Worry is like a rocking-chair . It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere." - Way ne Bennett (Broncos, QLD [...]Comments ()
Wed, 04.29.2009 10:44
Be good, See good and Do good! -Bhagwan Sri Sathya Sai BabaComments ()
Mon, 04.27.2009 17:03
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, ado red by little statesmen and ph ilosophers and divines. [...]Comments ()