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Lessons Learned After Two Decades of Social Distancing.

Lessons Learned After Two Decades of Social Distancing.

Coach Training Alliance is an intimate, passion driven business that was built at a social distance.  We measure that distance across the globe rather than in feet.   The Company, and now our community of over 10,000 graduates and clients, was built in an environment that has quickly been forced on many.  Rapid change causes stress, anxiety, and in some cases, personal or corporate petrification.  This does not have to be the case.  Businesses and practices can be built at a distance.

Here are some simple observations and accompanying practices that can benefit you as you meld social distance into your daily life.

Relationships Can Flourish and New Stories Are Created

Times like these create the strongest of bonds.  People with shared significant events have shared experience and thus shared story.  From both a personal and professional perspective, now is the time to invest in these relationships.  New tools of outreach and touch are available relative to large events like war and pandemic in the past, but fundamental connection thru discussion and exploration is where bonds and opportunities are to be found.  Coaching and the co-creative approach afford the opportunity to write new stories into our lives when faced with the suddenly apparent unknown.  Exploration of new paths can be achieved while tackling limiting beliefs, the result being a great first new step down a new path.  All this can be done through a shared experience that yields a strong relationship with the characters tied to that new story.

Distance is Not the Barrier

In twenty years, the Coach Training Alliance faculty has met in person only once yet their connectivity and relationships far surpass those I have seen in other organizations in which I have worked where people interface every day.  Why?  Because as coaches, they do two things exceptionally well. They listen deeply and value one another’s time. 

Listen deeply and ask open-ended questions.  This approach, a fundamental one to coaching’s co-creative process, can bridge any physical distance and afford both parties a great understanding of not only what is being discussed but also the context in which it is being explored.

Value one another’s time. Be Prompt.  Be present. Make an effort to eliminate distraction and avoid multitasking when with your client, colleague or co-worker.  Take some time on the front end of any agenda to check in and see where you both are in terms of both well-being and process relative to your topic.  Acknowledge progress and success before tackling what is next. 

Find Ways to Provide Value at a Distance

Favors and thoughtfulness can be accomplished from a distance.  Pay it forward in relationship building by offering help to others seeking to grow during this time.  As a coach, you can be a critical resource for family, friends, coworkers and even potential clients (remember there is value in a sample session of coaching).  A thank you note or a thoughtful e-mail or text with real meaning can add value as well as create the perception by those you contact that you are ready, willing and able to provide value.  Acknowledging the value provided by others in simple ways (a testimonial, offering a reference or a simple public thank you) is a great way to set the example and ask for the same in return.  These are basic business building habits that are also fantastic feel good behaviors.

Structure Matters

Finally, the distance environment can take away the familiar structure we have known.  Those businesses and coaches who operate successfully and thrive in a distance model do apply a discipline of structure.   They plan their days and weeks to tasks and times like they would under a traditional circumstance.  They calendar meetings and communication.  They map schedule to projects and write plans for both their business and finding balance in their lives.  Structured time that feeds your body, your mind and your soul is as important as ever.  Two decades of this model at Coach Training Alliance has also taught us that planning time for some fun is critical too.  Find some time for that and allow yourself fun as one of life’s great fuels.

Now more than ever the skills taught to coaches are needed to address the unknown, forge new paths and build bonds…even at a social distance.

About the Author- CHRIS OSBORN, is the Chief Executive Officer of Coach Training Alliance. Chris is a serial entrepreneur, executive and executive coach. His passion lies in growing businesses that aid in personal growth or business expansion of others. He has been widely recognized for his ability to lead change through organizational growth and strategic planning.

Chris currently serves as both a board member and in executive capacities of numerous organizations in the corporate and not-for-profit worlds. His experience varies widely from distance education and healthcare to e-commerce and financial services. He periodically authors material for the Coaching Compass and is the visionary and co-author behind the Human Capital Accelerator™. In addition to his work at CTA, Chris is licensed both as an Opposite Strengths® Executive Coach as well as a New Money Story Coach. Chris is a graduate of Phillips Exeter Academy and the University of California at Berkeley

Conflict Coaching

Conflict Coaching

It’s inevitable. It’s part of the human experience. It arouses strong emotions. We’re talking about conflict coaching, of course. As coaches we are good at managing and coaching our clients through conflict (aren’t we??).

There are many ways of dealing with conflict, of course, and we all have our preferences. Some tend to avoid it at all costs, often at their own expense. Others become quite aggressive and can damage relationships in the process. Still others tend to roll over and accommodate, failing to get their own needs met in life. It is important that you understand where your clients are coming from so you can give them the proper conflict coaching that suits their needs.

First, conflict is not bad. It is a natural occurrence. As noted earlier, it is part of the human experience. It’s how it’s managed that makes the difference.

When it comes to conflict coaching, selecting the best approach to managing conflict depends on the situation, and the capabilities and awareness of the individual. There are times when it is best temporarily avoided, at least until emotions calm down. Other times we need to step up to an aggressive approach. And sometimes it’s best to compromise (give a little, get a little), or accommodate (if we know we are wrong or it really doesn’t matter much). And then, of course, there’s the win-win, Getting-to-Yes, collaborative approach to resolving conflict.

The best among us flex, stretch themselves out of their comfort zone, and adapt the approach to the unique circumstances of the situation. Conflict is addressed effectively, in a healthy balanced manner without damaging relationships and without giving up on our own needs.

Handling the inevitable issues that arise in life is a topic that frequently surfaces in conflict coaching. Proactively and consciously identifying a path to managing conflict is a powerful first step, an authentic one. Supporting our clients as they sift through the various ways of dealing with conflict themselves is just one of the key coaching skills so worthy of exploration and growth in your coaching journey. Think you have what it takes to be a conflict coach? Take the quiz here. 

Dr. Laura Belsten, is Dean of the Graduate School of Coaching, a Master Certified Coach (MCC), and a national leader in the field of Emotional Intelligence. Personal Power is one of the twenty-four key competencies of the Social + Emotional Intelligence Profile ™.

“But I don’t have time to coach them!”

“But I don’t have time to coach them!”

It’s time to put the biggest obstacle to coaching your team to rest. During a study to determine how — or even IF — managers matter, Google’s people analytics team identified eight key behaviors demonstrated by the company’s most effective managers. Can you guess which leadership skill is right at the top of the list?

“A good manager is a good COACH.” (Project Oxygen)

(See “An Open Letter to All Leaders” for the rest of the eight key behaviors)

In fact, many more businesses are getting the message that coaching skills can boost both a manager’s effectiveness and their employees’ engagement, and are including ‘coaching’ in managerial and supervisory job descriptions.

That’s a giant step in the right direction because coaching is a unique set of communication skills that, when mastered, deliver a double benefit: these powerful skills both build positive, respectful relationships AND empower teams to get the work done. When employees are coached well, and then feel valued and inspired, they’re much more likely to show up every day willing to do their best work.

If you oversee the work of others, you’re probably already familiar with coaching as a powerful relationship management skill. And if you’re a busy leader, careening from deadlines to crises and back again, you’re probably thinking one of the most common Yeah, buts:

Yeah, that’s all well and good, but I don’t have time to coach my team members!

It’s a general misconception that coaching a direct report has to be a scheduled, sit-down, lengthy, in-depth meeting. If that were the only way you could coach an employee, of course it would be difficult to work that into your already packed schedule every time an employee had an issue, question, or needed clarification.

The good news is that coaching your team members to be more engaged, self-sufficient, and responsible doesn’t have to take any more time than you spend with them right now — if you do it right.

Here are just a few of the many ways you can get more done in less time — and save your company money — when you integrate powerful coaching skills into the regular conversations you have with your team members every day:

  • You can eliminate a lot of the back-story, the emotions, and the “noise” that typically clutters and sidetracks effective communication at work
  • They will feel more inspired to collaborate with you and the team when they feel heard and valued
  • You can “cut to the chase” and get to the heart of an issue or goal faster, so you can get to the solution and the action sooner
  • They will listen to you more openly and be less resistant to your guidance when you share your own thoughts and expectations respectfully
  • You can reduce costly delays and mistakes caused by miscommunication, personal agendas, and assumptions
  • You can leverage “corridor coaching” to build deeper connection, rapport, and trust with your team members
  • You can stop micro-managing your team and start focusing on your own work more when they feel empowered to be more self-sufficient

When you model respectful and professional communication skills, your team can bond more quickly as a drama-free, cohesive, co-creative, and collaborative unit.

If you truly want a high performance team that gets along and gets the work done, you don’t have time NOT to coach them!

Author LAURIE CAMERON, founder of WakeUp! Enterprises, is lovingly dedicated to spreading massive amounts of respect, kindness, and compassion as far and wide as she can. Her path to accomplish this is to teach the power of coaching to as many people as possible because it’s a unique communication tool that both builds positive, co-creative relationships AND gets stuff done. http://wakeupenterprises.com/

In her 18+ years of coaching hundreds of clients and training over 1000 professional coaches, she firmly believes that everyone can benefit from learning and mastering coaching skills. She is available for individual and small group coaching skills training, and mentor coaching for leaders who coach their teams.

Laurie is a senior faculty member at Coach Training Alliance, and is a Certified CTA Coach. She is also a Master Certified Opposite Strengths® Executive Coach, a Master Certified Relationship Coach with Relationship Coaching Institute, and a Certified Master Mind Facilitator.

She currently serves as the President of the Board of Directors for Mentor Me, a youth mentoring organization in Northern California, and treasures the time she spends with her 15-year-old mentee. Laurie is very active in the Petaluma Area Chamber of Commerce, regularly volunteers her time at numerous non-profit organizations in the community, and she loves living in the Petaluma Gap.